I have lupus patches on my scalp which often shine red, and lupus has started to invade the sanctity of my face and the areas around my eyes offer new challenges daily. I often look into the mirror and am unmotivated to share what I see with the world and as a result am often found sitting behind closed curtains in the safety of my own space.
“What other people think of me is none of my business”
I am inspired to believe that I shouldn’t be motivated by what other people are thinking of me or more importantly what I think other people are thinking about me. It is more important what I think about myself, which interestingly seems to be heavily tied up with what and how I think other people are thinking of me.
Now that seems like an unholy mess. I clearly need to make some lines of separation in my life. A distinction between the facts and what I am feeling (don’t we all need to do that) The facts as I see them are I have lupus and this current lupus flare is more visible than others. I am the same person. I live and breath in the same way and am still lovable. The facts have led to feelings of inadequacy, ugliness, low self esteem etc. etc. but I am still lovable!
This all reminds me of a quote I carved for myself which simply says:
“Feelings are a great barometer BUT we should never use them as a compass”
(Feel free to quote me on that!)
I think I am going to simply avoid prolonged views of the mirror, take deep breaths, hold my head up high and boldly step out, after all who cares what other people think